


chimera's day care

by maraudersourwolf



Series: puppers will take over the world [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Attempt at Humor, Cameos, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mildy Swearing, Puppy Pack Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 00:36:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13822782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudersourwolf/pseuds/maraudersourwolf
Summary: Puppy pack.From the bunch of things that could turn around and bite him in the ass, that’s quite literally the one he less expected.





	chimera's day care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wolfenboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfenboy/gifts).



>   
> **Brett** , here's another trait for you and your soft birb heart.  
> Because you totally deserve it but _shhhh._  
>  For hours of suffering, a fic honouring the Sampsons' madness.  
>  
> 
> I've finally, _finally_ finished this.  
>  I'm never writing a 10k oneshot ever in my life.  
> Never again.  
>  _Why did I do this to myself._
> 
>  
> 
> Sort of beta'd, but not really. Messy.  
> Long, so long.  
> Sorry for the terrible humor, I still think I'm funny.  
>  

 

 

 

 

 

He’s not even sure how he ended up in this situation. Terribly dreadful situation.

No, that’s not true.

He _knows_ how he ended up in the middle of this madness. What he doesn’t know is _why_ he agreed to be part of it.

Next time Scott calls, he’s gonna make sure to throw his phone as far into the woods as he can.

 

*

 

_Puppy pack._

From the bunch of things that could turn around and bite him in the ass, that’s quite literally the one he less expected.

He’s inside the McCall’s house, standing at the front door, eyeing in horror the little handful of midgets using only oversized t-shirts that resemble more a dress, twisting and turning in the living room. His gaze turns back to the True Alpha at his side, who just shrugs and has the bravado to smile at him bashfully.

Theo is having none of it.

“I’m not doing it”

“Theo,” Scott whines, shoulders sagging and the whole facade of innocent boy crumbling at his feet, “We need to catch the witch to break the spell! I need _you_ to do this.”

The part where a witch tried to tear the pack apart, that’s the only thing that actually makes any sense here. Been there, done that. He has done his fare share of evilness in the world, that he may or may not regret.

But de-aging a bunch of teenagers into a handful of five year old kids?

That’s true evil here.

“I can help with the witch,” he shoots back almost desperately.

And okey, he knows why they didn’t count him for the witch haunt. It’s an important, delicate matter and most probably Theo would end up slashing her throat open if given the chance instead of getting hexed too. They _still_ don’t trust him enough.

And it’s fine.

Most of the time.

Not exactly now.

He shouldn’t be trusted with this either, right? They’re vulnerable little creatures and being the big bad chimera he is, he could hurt them. Badly. Fatally so.

A yelp of pain echoes in the room and when he looks over, the mop of hair he would identify as Liam’s is sinking his tiny sharp fangs on who seemed to be Brett, if the fact that he was still taller than everyone else tipped him on it, who is repeatedly swatting him in the head.

Most likely they’ll hurt him instead.

Theo looks back at the alpha, expecting him to break the fight off. But Scott seems more interested into mulling over if it was actually a good idea having his former murderer babysit a bunch of feral kids. By the tip of his brows, he seems to be leaning more into the ‘ _not in a million years’_ and Theo is counting the seconds before his victory, when two tiny little hands full of claws grip painfully hard on his tight, making him wince and startle all at once.

Looking downwards, he finds himself up close to an even tinier than usual version of Liam scowling up at him.

“I’m hungry,” the true beta demands in a squeaky voice that doesn’t sound too far from Liam’s real one, “Give me food”.

He doesn’t have time to answer that a) he’s not his maid, and b) here seems to be working under the rules of the jungle and if you want to survive you have to learn to fend for yourself, when a heavy and sturdy hand falls over his shoulder ominously, bringing back memories of Tara dragging him down to hell that look even warm to his eyes now. He tensely turns back to Scott, who just smiles crookedly back.

For a moment, he entertains the thought of painfully killing the alpha. Again.

“Seems like he made the choice”

“ **_What_ ** ,” he asks outraged, “no, he doesn’t even--”

Before he manages to get the words out of his mouth, the front door is closing and there’s no trace of Scott ever being there to begin with besides the scent of treason in the air. He stands there, looking at the wooden door completely stunned.

Maybe this is just a dream.

An hallucination due to poisoning, he must have eaten something bad. That must be it, this is just a twisted dream and---

Tiny claws digging deeper in his leg has him looking back down at the little beta, who scowls even harder.

“Food!”

 _Framed_ , that’s what he was.

Karma's a bitch.

 

*

 

He ends up trenching himself in the McCall’s kitchen after having Liam almost chopping his leg off with his tiny little claws, trying to come up with both an strategy and a fairly decent meal for someone that only close encounter to cooking he ever had was roasting someone to death.

He had not, in fact, came up with an idea. But he had found two boxes of mac and cheese with instructions, so he still counted it as a win.

“Food is ready!”. He turns around, pot in hand, ready to start yelling again when he’s faced with five little monsters looking up at him with wide eyes in a way that could give the Children of the Corn a run for their money.

He swallows thickly and walks slowly towards the table. Five pairs of eyes following each and every movement in complete silence. Placing the pot in the table with careful movements, he backs away with his hands up in the air and watches with morbid fascination how the the tiny little monsters climb up the chairs and table and start to dig into the food with their bare hands, squealing in delight.

Theo can safely assure that he has never been more scared in his life.

 

*

 

He forgot a little detail in his ‘ _let’s give the little monsters food so I can still have my leg attached to my body as it should be_ ’ plan.

A minor, slightly little detail.

The clean up.

 

*

 

In the almost hour he had spent in the house with the handful little pack, Theo learns two things.

First, dried up cheese stains are not easy to clean. At all.

Second, the little spawns of the devil smell fear.

Every now and then, he will feel someone watching him, an ice cold sensation going down his spine, pining his soul and making his days in hell seem like warm vacation days.

Turning around he will find one of the little living nightmares looking up at him, completely still and in silence, surveying him. Too sharp, too predatory for something that’s supposed to be more of a prey so early in life. He will freeze in place and look back like a deer caught in headlights and hold his breath for as long as supernaturally possible. If he doesn’t move, they can’t see him, right? Or was that just with dinosaurs?

Seconds after, they’ll wander away, leaving him alone once more with a dreadful feeling deep down in the pit of his stomach and a crippling paranoia eating up his bones to welcome while he resumes the cleaning.

He’s afraid.

He’s very afraid.

 

*

 

“ _Brett_ ,” he growls, low and threatening.

“I’m not doing anything”

It sounds so innocent that he would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for the fact that he just pushed Liam, making the little true beta trip with his shirt and fall.

For the fifth time in a row.

Right in front of Theo.

“I can see you,” he hisses between clenched teeth, “Stop it”

“I’m not doing anything,” Brett repeats with his blue eyes fixed on the chimera’s green ones, while pushing the other pup down again, who was just starting to get up.

Liam grunts, turns around in the ground and bites on Brett’s leg, making the taller pup yelp in pain and fall while trying to get away from what seemed like a piranha attack. Way too quickly, it turns into a petty fight of slaps, bites and scratches.

Mason steps at Theo’s side, watching the scene with strange fascination and the chimera hopes little Mason will act accordingly to his teenage self and stop this madness.

“ _Intense_ ”.

No such luck.

Covering his face with both hands, Theo groans in frustration.

It’s going to be a long, long day.

 

*

 

No one ever said anything about it, but he supposed that Liam and Brett’s rivality had something to do with the whole lacrosse thing together at Davenport.

But he was wrong.

Oh, so wrong.

It is in their nature, something impossible to get rid of. From who climbs up the stairs more quickly to who can make the most obnoxious noise ever, they dare each other to do the most stupid things they can come up with and see who will win.

Non stop.

And even if it is annoying, it is fine. They are doing their thing and Theo doesn’t have to do shit besides having an eye on them.

That until they start to scream from the top of his lungs.

Face to face, Brett towers over Liam with his tiny hands balled into fists. Liam, with a frown and his little hands gripping tightly the fabric of the shirt he is wearing, stands in his tip toes and give slight little jumps to get a bit taller. Both faces slowly turning redder with exertion and the lack of air.

The shrill sounds drilling a hole in Theo’s head that’s getting deeper by each passing second of this torture. And he thought Lydia’s scream were terrible.

He’s starting to think how angry would Scott get if he ever discovers about Theo letting both kids pass out when Liam’s voice cuts out and then the pup takes a big gulp of air.

There’s silence, the blissful and so much missed lack of any possible noise, only filled by pants coming out of Brett, now sporting a complete smug expression, and Liam, with a fire in his eyes that Theo recognizes from the many punches aimed at his face.

“I told you I was better, shortie”

Before he can stop hell from breaking loose, Liam is pushing Brett with far more force than needed, sending the other kid backwards into the floor where a completely unaware Nolan is sitting.

He can see it almost in slow motion when Brett’s elbow connects with Nolan’s tiny nose. And by his completely apologetic wince, Liam can see it too.

There’s silence, way too much now.

A drop of blood.

Then Nolan starts to wail.

 

*

 

He ends up with a handful of little Nolan on his arms, still sniffling away the tears with his tiny little freckled face tucked on his shoulder, and with two pair of blue eyes glaring up at him. Surely for totally different reasons that he doesn’t know or either care about.

“We need rules,” he starts, stopping just to look around for the two lacking puppies of this big equation for disaster.

They soon appear out of thin air with the chubby little fingers of their hands intertwined together, Corey with the brightest smile on his face while Mason displays the most soft looking blush Theo has ever seen.

He doesn’t coo internally, not at all.

Looking back at the two offending pups, he tries to summon enough strength of will to do this. He reminds himself that there was a time that he wanted to be an alpha. That he actually managed to be a sort of alpha for his strange pack of misfits chimeras, a group of very mentally damaged and emotionally unstable teenagers. Kids should be easier, right?

“Okay, rules. First one--”

“You’re not my alpha!,” Brett scowls, crossing his little arms over his chest.

Of course kids aren’t easier.

Theo pointedly ignores him. “First one, no more rough play. No biting, no pushing, no scratching. We have humans and one of them already bled. We **_don’t_ ** want more bleeding.”

He doesn’t want to deal with more bleeding nor have enough arms to stop the crying that comes with the it either.

Brett huffs, looking at the ground in which he hopes is embarrassment and not a temper tantrum about to begin.

Using the short silence as an excuse, Theo tries to put Nolan down into the floor, but the squirmy little shit sobs and wraps his tiny little arms tighter around his neck. He sighs in defeat, and cradles the little body a bit more comfortably against his chest again.

“Second one, I’m in charge, like it or not, until Scott comes back. So if I say jump, you jump, _capisce_?”

Corey and Mason nod softly, in contrast with Liam, that seems about to give whiplash to himself due to excitement. Brett looks back at him with his brows furrowed in confusion.

“What’s caip-- chapi-- capi-- ?”

“ _Capisce_ ,” Mason quips.

“Sounds dumb,” Brett spits, looking back at Theo, “You’re dumb!”

“He’s not dumb! You’re dumb!,” Liam growls, hands balling into little fists and Theo’s already dreading his whole existence again and hoping that Nolan grips a little bit more tightly so the tiny shoulder crunches his windpipe and successfully smothers him to death.

He’s taking a step forward, ready to push both puppy wolves away from each other, when Corey beats him to it. With his tiny brows scrunched in reproach, he flickers at Liam’s forehead first, and when the taller pup laughs, Corey flickers him in the nose. “Behave,” he decreets.

Now with both pups glowering at the little chimera, Theo is mentally preparing himself to start picking up the pieces of what will be left of Corey from the floor, but he’s surprised again when the baby chameleon pulls a cookie out of the pocket of his shirt, splits it in a perfect half and gives each troublesome kid a piece with a solemn nod that gets the exact same response in return, in a silent agreement of sorts. Then Corey turns his little body around, looking up at Theo, nodding again before striding towards Mason, who pecks him softly on the lips with a very proud face.

Theo looks from the baby couple to the trouble pair, who already wolfed down the trait and are looking up at him impassively, in complete silence.

He’s not really sure what just happened.

Doesn’t even know why or how Corey ended up with a cookie, from all things, in his pocket.

But who is he to question the miracles of life.

 

*

 

The good thing about having just two major rules to follow is that you settle them pretty easily. And thankfully, so do the pack of younglings.

It might also have something to do with the stock of paper sheets and markers he unashamedly takes from Scott’s room too.

But a man does what he needs to for survival.

At some point, he manages to coarse Nolan into letting go of his neck. He may or may not have growled at the little doe-eyed human for it to happen. But it works perfectly in the end, if the little connect-the-dots child watching with fearful adoration at a little Brett, whose tongue is sticking at one side of his mouth while he aggressively draws with a blue marker, is anything to come by.

Corey and Mason, the baby sweethearts, are by far the easiest ones to comfort.

Theo is completely ecstatic when Mason just asks for a book, any book, and then promptly pulls Corey by their somehow still locked hands and goes straight to sit cross-legged under the kitchen table, reading out loud for the chameleon boy, who dutifully pecks every inch of his boyfriend’s face when Mason finds a word difficult to wrap in his untrained tongue.

It is disgustingly sweet, but Theo seems unable to stop looking at them with fond eyes, ones he’ll deny ever doing.

Then, there is Liam.

He is his favorite, so far.

And it has totally nothing to do with the fact that he has been harboring a mix of warm feeling towards the beta for more than a year now.

Nope.

Not at all.

It is mostly because Liam’s completely adorable in his own unique way.

Same as his usual teenage adult self, Liam is a little ball of rage and sunshine all packed into one ready to explode in the most ridiculous times. So far he hasn’t thrown a temper tantrum as big as Theo would have expected, but the chimera guesses it has something to do with him usually being outlet for his anger.

Also there’s the thing that he’s mostly like a puppy, tipping his head to a side when confused and following Theo around, as in some game of Follow the leader, yelping demands and shoving stuff up his face like a dog would do with a toy.

It makes bloom an obnoxious fluttering feeling inside of him, like the so called butterflies that movies talk about so much.

It’s unaceptable.

He wants to digest them.

 

*

 

Little feet tap over the floor back at where he is for the tenth time already in the last thirty minutes. When Theo looks back from his place at the side of the couch, the one that allows the whole watching like a hawk thing perfectly, at the sound, he’s greeted by Liam stretching out his little arms and wiggling his chubby little fingers at him.

Theo arches a questioning brow at him. “What?”

“Up!,” the squeaky demand comes and Theo’s sure he should not find it endearing at all.

“No,” he chastises, looking away at the other little runt, who’s now teaching Nolan how to stab the markers on a paper until they break and call it art.

“But you picked Nolan up!,” Liam declares outraged.

He knows where this is coming from, the empty jealousy from kids. He gets it. He knows there’s some reverse psychology he should use here. But the patience to deal with it? No, that he doesn’t have it.

Theo rubs a hand through his face for a moment, breathing deeply and choosing to try and rationalize with the kid. “Yes, Liam, because he was _crying_ which you’re not and--”. Words die on his throat at the scene in front of him, making his chest achingly constric.

It’s the usual scowl with the usual puppy eyes, but now wider and bluer.

And full of tears.

He just brought hell down to himself.

It’s completely pathetic, one of the biggest success of the Dread Doctors being manipulated by a 5 year old de-aged kid.

Bending down, he picks Liam up begrudgingly, while the little menace smiles widely while hooking his arms around the chimera’s neck with far too much ease. He tucks his little face into the curve where neck meets shoulder, breathing out a satisfied puff of warm air, that sends a shiver down Theo’s spine.

This is far too adorable.

He doesn’t do adorable.

Maybe he should just let the little monster slip and fall. There’s no way to prove him guilty of charge, no one would take seriously a bunch of kids. Little Liam seems to read his thoughts and have other plans, if the lethal little claws on his shoulders and the back of his neck are enough of a hint.

He huffs, rolling his shoulders and forcing himself to relax under the baby beta, getting back the same reaction.

Huh, quite a discovery.

While thinking how he could turn this around into proper blackmail material, Liam wiggles his little body, pulling slightly out of his hiding place and having one of his little hand slapping the side of Theo’s face and huffs in annoyance.

“What,” the chimera growls, swatting away the offending little limb.

“I’m bored”.

Theo can hear the pout and he’s pretty sure that after the pout there comes the yelling and then the tears. And he can’t manage either, even less now, having the little screaming machine glued so close to his ears.

“Go have fun then”

He bends down and tries to disentangle himself from the hug monster but Liam is having none of it. He thought that after Nolan trying to smother, he would be a free man. Maybe growling would do the trick again. His chest rumbles, deep and threatening but the only answer he gets back is a giggle that bristles his skin. Groaning, he settles Liam comfortably back into his arms, and the little shit hums satisfied.

There’s silence again.

Theo loosens up again, glad that he managed to dodge that bullet.

“Im bored,” Liam whines between another pout, this time digging his chin on Theo’s shoulder.

Wishful thinking.

The chimera groans, gaze flickering to the ceiling in a silent plea of mercy. “What would it take for you to shut up?”

A chubby little finger points down at the coffee table, where the markers lay forgotten.

“No,” he chastises immediately.

Liam groans, high pitched and completely exaggerated.

“Not working,” Theo replies, craning his neck to look at the baby sweethearts, still doing their thing, and then back at Brett and Nolan, the first bragging about something while the other is hunching on himself, hugging his legs, and looking at the other kid with twinkling doe-eyes.

Liam pulls away from his shoulder, using his stretched little arms as support, and visibly pouts, tears and all.

Again.

The chimera frowns, biting the inner side of his cheek to try and remind himself that he’s the adult here, that he has the control, that those big blue eyes don’t hold any power over him. That this trick worked once because he wasn’t prepared, not how he is now.

He spectacularly fails.

“You’re such a little sh--”

By the corner of his eye, he can see Corey’s head snapping up, like a hound finding a clue, eyes locked on him in disapproval, surely ready to reprimand the big chimera about language.

Letting out a harsh exhale through his nose, Theo stalks towards the coffee table, hastily takes a marker and hands it to the little nightmare clinging onto him.

Liam giggles and plants a too full of drool lick in his cheek in what Theo guesses it’s supposed to be a _thank you_ but instead falls flat into one of the most distasteful experiences of his life. Then he’s twisting his little body enough to face the chimera’s arm, in a way that has Theo unable to do anything else besides quickly grabbing the back of the kid’s shirt to stop him from falling.

The little shit doesn’t even notice.

From the list of terribly bad decisions he made, narrowing them down to the ones that are Liam’s fault, he’s sure this is the worst he could have taken.

But isn’t the peace that comes with it worth it.

 

*

 

“Are you enjoying yourself?,” Theo looks at Liam unamusedly, trying not to think in the huge disaster of ink and squiggles he feels happening but isn’t seeing.

“Yeah!,” the little pup squeals in delight, his tiny little brain unable to process ironic remarks, same as always. At least he can rest assured that the spell didn’t messed up with their brains.

The marker keeps smoothly flowing over his skin over and over and over but when Theo tries to peek, he gets his face pushed away by a tiny hand pressed against his cheek and one of those adorable little pouts that Liam seems to have patented as his trademark.

He looks away, checking up on the other kids.

Peace still ruling.

There’s a ridiculous smile spreading over his lips little by little and an attempt to kill it.

Utterly futile.

He’s totally screwed.

 

*

 

“I’m bored!”

The marker has long since forgotten, now in its place between the couch cushions where Theo threw it in his best attempt to stop Liam from keep on doing tattoos to make him look badass. He’s now sporting a rather funny lucky pirate skull, that he can only think it was supposed to look menacing, with a crown on top, because he’s the alpha here and he’s so pretty that he deserves it.

The kid’s words, not his.

“Why does it feel like I keep living the same moment over and over,” Theo mutters to himself, closing his eyes for a moment and trying to summon his will to live back.

Little hands grip tightly at his cheek and yank his head with far too much strength, forcing him to look back at Liam to avoid getting either his head ripped out of his body. “Let’s play!”

Just two words, all it takes.

The weight of four extra pair of eyes on him, Liam’s baby blue ones looking right into his soul and taking the air out of his lungs in the worst way possible. The puppy like face is not smiling nor scowling nor anything, it’s just there.

In front of his.

_Looking._

It’s like he’s suddenly in the middle of an horror movie.

There’s a sudden reminder of how fragile life is. Specially his life now, standing under the same roof as five little brutal, cruel creatures with no social filters or fucks to give at all.

He nods, slowly.

Liam’s face breaks into a beaming smile.

When is this nightmare going to stop.

 

*

 

“That’s not a game”

He looks at his side, little Corey with his arms crossed over his chest and frowning up at him. Mason is a step behind him, as if trying to back him up but the total expression of sheer panic by confronting the biggest chimera makes the whole thing fail.

Arching a brow daringly, Theo throws the socks he just tangled together into the closest thing resembling a ball. Liam and Brett scramble, between growls and excited yelps to retrieve it. Nolan hovers in middle ground, head snapping back and forth between the two playing pups and the other two kids pulling a pacific protest on him, before sprinting towards the real action.

“You were saying?,” Theo smiles smugly, daring the little chameleon to say something.

Liam comes barreling into them, balled socks in his hands and a huge grin breaking on his face, flushed little cheeks lighting up his big blue eyes to life. He looks up at the biggest chimera, preening, and hands back the crafted item. Theo’s sure that if Liam had a tail, it would be wagging back and forth non-stop.

He throws it again, a litany of joyful screams and hurried steps running in the direction where the object wandered.

“I said,” Corey glitches in and out of sight, clearly getting annoyed, and Theo snorts, even if he finds it utterly terrifying too, “that’s not a real game”

“Who’s the one in charge here?,” he smirks, teasing the little control freak, “I’m the adult, so--”. Adding a casual shrug, he smiles widely in the more condescending way possible.

Corey squints up at him, surely ready to keep arguing, but before he has time to say anything at all, Mason tugs at the chameleon’s oversized shirt and pulls him away from there.

Maybe winning a fight against a kid shouldn’t make his chest swell in pride, but he can’t avoid it.

You’re supposed to take pleasure in the small achievements in life, right?

 

*

 

To say he doesn’t have things under control is an understatement.

Just because the little spawns of hell had been compliant for more than fifteen minutes, didn’t mean they finally accepted him as their one and only ruler.

It is his fault, he would admit as much as that.

If there is something he should have known better than anyone is that you don’t have to get your guard down.

 

*

 

They were supposed to be playing with the sock ball.

Puppies love socks, that much he knew from the weird youtube videos Scott sometimes sent him in what seemed to be the stupidest plan to try and melt away the darkness of his heart.

They do not enjoy climbing; climbing is for monkeys and cats and spiders. But those eight legged monsters hell with not other reason to exist besides be a living nightmare hold nothing in this.

Or maybe they do.

Theo eyes suspiciously the group of kids, craning his neck upwards a bit to be able to see them properly, trying to find out if they’ll spurt more legs and eyes. Because obviously their thirst to terrorize is already checked on the list.

They do not.

Still, he can’t believe this is happening.

Along the way, the game of ‘chase the sock’ quickly transformed into ‘chase while the floor is lava’ and then promptly into just ‘lets see how far I can climb before gravity decides to call me out on my bullshit’.

And they all were playing, even little _‘breathing scares the hell out of me and makes me wanna cry’_ Nolan.

Theo feels betrayed.

He’s been running back and forth, pacing the room from one side to the other and trying to get the little shits down and away from the furniture with no such luck. Not because he’s worried about the household property at all. Maybe a bit. Melissa can be a really terrifying person when angry.

With the exception of Corey and Mason, that were safely giggling while jumping up and down in the couch with their hands somehow _still locked together_ , the wolf pups are climbing the coffee table, the couch, the kitchen table, the stairs, the kitchen counter and now the  bookshelf. Basically, every surface tall enough to brain themselves when they fall.

Because they’re going to fall, it’s written in the stars and Theo can feel it in any bone of his body.

And now from all the times, with the secured promise of a somewhat earlier than ever death,  the little human decided to prove his bravery and climb up behind them.

Just his luck.

The little hunter is almost reaching the top of the bookshelf when the moment Theo most anticipated in horror happens. A tiny feet slipping away from the wood, a startled yelp and Nolan is falling.

He catches him in the last second thank to supernatural reflexes, avoiding the imminent death that would have most likely held over his head and not the fact that he was left alone with five little creatures when he can barely take care of himself.

Frightened deep blue eyes look back at him, tears quickly pooling up in them, and before he can make use of his supernatural agility to put the kid down and keep his neck in one piece, two little arms wrap around it and hold. Hard. He breathes shallowly and taps the kid’s back in the same way the saw wrestlers do on TV once until the grip is loose enough to avoid suffocation.

There’s sniffling and his shoulder feels too damp to be comfortable, hoping there’s not snot because he’ll have to end up killing the kid and all his effort to keep him from death would have been useless.

When he’s resigning to be once again to be a living chimera plushie, a sort of distant but not quite shout of ‘me too, me too’ cuts the white noise of giggles and sobs and a looming shadow kicks into his animal instinct of fight or flee.

And he flees, stepping out of the way in the last second.

A loud thud and little body starfished in the living room floor is all Theo gets as enough clue that Liam had been idiotic enough to jump out of the bookshelf in the worst superman impersonation ever.

There’s a short silence followed by an eruption of laughs, starting from Brett, still on top of the bookshelf, the dreamy couple and even Nolan, giggling in an sickening adorable way with his face half tucked on Theo’s neck. The ruckus is followed by a grunt of pain and a high pitched wail that he can make up into Liam trying to say that he broke his arm.

“It will heal,” is all the chimera says huffing and expecting the kid stop crying.

Somehow he does.

But now Theo has the biggest puppy eyes brimming with tears glaring at him and a glint in them with a promise of revenge.

Theo sighs, dejectively.

At least there’s no blood to clean this time.

 

*

 

This time, getting Nolan to let go of his tiny but very effective grip of death is easier.

It only takes a little runt growling at the chimera and threatening to rip his hands out with his little teeth, going as far as to try and take a bite that Theo easily dodges.

The little hunter looks at the possessive little psychopath for a couple of seconds, then at the larger former psychopath for a couple more, and then finally squirms and politely asks to be put down on the floor.

Theo does, as hastily and efficiently as he can.

Not because he’s being threatened by a midget with fangs or because the amount of respect the little hunter shows.

But because of the free ticket to any resemblance of freedom and the full capacity of his limbs back.

And the almost inconspicuous detail of the new choking to death phobia he’s developing.

Never forget that.

 

*

 

Liam so far has nailed to pretend ignore him for a total of two minutes. Then proceed into scowling and pouting every single time Theo as much as glanced to where the pup was for a total of five minutes. But none of both seemed to have any effect.

At some point, his tiny brain understands that for any of his plans to work, he first requires to have Theo’s attention on him.

And thus he tries to do so until his short spawn of attention made him completely forget in less than a minute what he is even trying to do and why he is really following Theo around.

Again.

“Why don’t crabs have eyebrows?”

This time the kid seems determined to make Theo’s brain explode by the amount of weird questions coming out in an excited slur of words that the chimera is sure took a total of ten seconds from the process of thinking to actually speaking.

“Why do spiders run away when I fart?"

For a moment Theo felt grateful that this is Liam and not Stiles. Otherwise he would not last five seconds without trying to fry himself with the toaster or break the kid’s fragile little neck.

“Why can’t I see my eyes?”

He eyes Liam suspiciously, the pup now going cross-eyed to try and see his own eyes, making Theo wonder for a moment if this is just a weird phase that the poor kid’s parents had to suffer for just a while or if this random kind of things still pop up inside the beta’s mind more than they should.

“When I go to heaven do I get to become a fish finger?”

Theo is counting the seconds until either Liam finally decides that asking and just getting plain silence back isn’t the way communication should work or until Tara pops out of nowhere and decides to drag him back to hell pretty far away from this torture, when Mason comes up and sits at one side of Liam.

The surprise of seeing the brains of the puppy pack without his boyfriend is short lived when little Mason looks back at him with a glint of complete determination.

Oh no.

“Why do I have two eyes if I only see one thing?”

Theo breaks out of stupor and groans loudly, hiding his face between his hands for a moment before far too quick taking them off. Not seeing is a luxury he can’t afford. This little pack of savages might try to kick him while he’s down.

“Did ants invent the world’s first social network?”

He squints in confusion at the little book worm, trying to understand how’s even possible that the kid can not only pronounce correctly but also understand what he’s even talking about. Such big words for such a tiny body.

“How do I know that I’m real and not just a dream of someone else?”

The chimera frowns, taken aback, gaping until he finally closes it with a click, unable to find any kind of answer. The kid is throwing him down into an existential crisis that he’s not well equipped to handle. Philosophical questions were pretty much out of the picture when you get to live with three lunatics that share delusions of greatness leading to maim, murder, kidnap, and wrapping it all perfectly in a sick fashion tendency for steampunk, for most of your childhood. And lets not forget the hours of scheming.

Liam seems to take a hold of brief instability and hurriedly shoots a question of his own. "Since your eyes are green, does that mean you see everything in green?"

Mason looks at his friend as if asking himself the same question Theo’s been trying to come up since the first day he met the pair: _why are they even friends_.

“Where do thoughts come from?,” asks the ebony boy and locks his gaze in the chimera, expectantly.

Theo always liked to brag about how much knowledge he had harboured over the years. Now he feels like everything is crumbling down and he just hatched into life.

Two pair of eyes fixed on him, Mason resolved to get his answers and Liam obstinate into getting _something_ out of him, be it good or bad.

“What was like the last day you were a kid?,” says the overeager puppy.

And that’s pretty much the last drop to fill the glass.

“You’ll find out if you don’t leave now,” Theo croaks, “Both of you, get out”

Kids look at one another, back at him and then they start walking away slowly, still sending confused and startled glances over their shoulders to the chimera left behind. After some minutes, they start play on their own.

But his mind is still too muddled with questions and answers and more questions.

Still stunned into silence.

He will definitely need therapy now.

 

*

 

Once again doing the housekeeping version of a patrol by the preserve, his eyes skim towards a corner of the room where Mason is flailing way too much in front a very still Liam.

It's somehow safe to say that Stiles isn't contagious per se, but he's still on that case. If he’s enough of a bad influence for the baby betas and Theo proves it, perhaps he will get expelled from the pack and there would be one less problem to worry about. Who knows.

Or maybe the odd pair just took to heart being the new defenders of Beacon Hills. So much, so hard that they just absorbed each of their supposed mentors personalities.

Or maybe there's some other more logic explanation.

Mason gaze falls back into the book his holding over his lap, eyes sparkling and mouth moving a mile a minute while Liam tries to keep himself steady, hands gripping his naked feet and playing with his tiny toes, nodding enthusiastically or scrunching up his nose in confusion when he doesn't understand something.

Theo's sure the little beta isn't understanding a single word that's leaving his friend's mouth, but he still seems pretty engrossed into it.

The chimera is wondering _how_ and _when_ and _who_ exactly decided that yes, indeed, they needed that have absolutely nothing in common besides probably the need to breath and eat to share every single moment of their life, when Mason leans in and pats Liam head, making the beta grin wide and open and full of sunshine.

And that's when it clicks.

He can picture it perfectly now: Little Mason desperately wanting a puppy and unable to get one, being denied of one of the most pure desires in life. So probably little Mason decided to take the matter on his own little hands, like the witty little thing he is, and adopted the closest thing to it.

Which was Liam, the human impersonation of a labrador puppy in a sugar high.

Life works in mysterious ways.

Mason seems to do so too.

 

*

 

Nolan has been too quiet for a while, way more than usual.

It shouldn't be so unsettling, but there's this teeny tiny detail that not even the runt is near him. Actually, Brett is across the room, eyes glued to the little hunter in a flawless impersonation of a dog begging for food. He can ever hear little whimpers from time to time.

But he's not moving to get closer.

And maybe years of living with psychopaths and running from hunters should have prepared him better, but he he walks right into the trap.

Standing aside Nolan he watches the kid, sitting hunched in the floor and hushedly talking alone. And that isn’t creepy, not at all.

"Nolan?"

Deep blue eyes look up at him with surprise written all over them just to smile widely seconds later. The whole ordeal sending his brain into a state of panic.

"What are you doing?"

"I made a new friend!"

Before Theo has enough time to choose if he's in the mood to ask _who_ this friend is or if he should just walk away, tiny hands are thrusted up at him, holding something. Tiny fingers disentangle and he takes just a brief second to look at the prideful smile in the kids face that should be adorable but instead just promises him demise. When he looks back down at Nolan's hands, he's assaulted by a full body shiver.

Nolan's new friend.

There.

Up close.

_A cockroach._

The biggest one he's seen by now. And that's something to say, having in mind that was the first thing he spotted when house hunting with the Dread Doctors.

"Nolan, that's a--"

He's not proud of the high pitched scream that breaks out of him.

Or the way he just panic induced wolfed out at it.

Or how he brutally slapped it away and stepped on it as fast as his agility let him. And even so, he thinks it wasn't fast enough.

But what else was he supposed to do when the damn thing flew right into his face?

The devastated body of the small but deadly beast twitches and he stomps it again. Two more times, just to be completely sure.

" _You killed him!_ ," comes the screeching and he doesn't need to look at the kid to know there are tears welling in his eyes again.

He wonders if this counts as a relapse.

 

*

 

He sees himself forced to give the despicable crushed body of Mooble, his last murdering victim, a proper burial.

In one of the McCalls plant pots.

Nolan sniffs the whole time, mumbling things like how it was _too young to die_ and _what a good friend he was_.

Theo sucks it up the whole time, allowing the willowing kid his moment of grief and pointedly avoiding saying that if he could, he would be setting the thing on fire too, just to be a hundred percent sure it stayed dead.

After all, he's supposed to be a changed man.

 

*

 

" _Uh oh_ "

That's all the heads up that Theo gets this time.

Better than nothing, but not quite enough.

Snapping his head fearfully to the now clearly decimated pack of devilish dwarfs, trying to account beforehand how much of a strong will and patience will he have to summon, just to find the baby sweethearts are missing.

They were supposed to be the safe ones.

A strangled noise has him basically sprinting from the living room towards the bathroom in proof of a special kind of panic induced speed he didn't think was capable of.

For as long as a beat of his heart he thinks about just locking the door completely and leave them both there until Scott came back and took care of this, but it only takes a whimper and the loud clatter of something hitting the floor tides to yank the door open.

He isn't prepared for this.

Hand still tightly gripping the door handle and body freezed in place, he looks around the small bathroom to the guilty couple in front of him.

There's a shampoo bottle and a shaving foam can at its side on the floor, near the bathtub.

And then just plain chaos.

Dripping from the sink to the toilet, there's white slime smudged over the toilet seat and covered every inch of the small distance between one facility to the other, including the tiny bodies wafting guilt and anxiety.

The worst thing is that it moves.

_On its own._

"What the--"

Corey frowns harshly at him, scolding at the possible incoming word, and Theo wants to be impressed both at the boldness of the petit chameleon to still try and get his manners in check right at this moment and the fact that they crafted a toddler version of a Lovecraft’s horror story in the bathroom. But the panic of knowing this two would probably blow themselves and the whole house into pieces if he doesn't keep an eye on them is bigger.

"Both of you are not leaving my sight again". A smacking sound makes him snap his attention to the white glob trying to crawl out of the toilet and then back to the kids. "Ever".

This is why he has trusting issues.

 

*

 

He isn't cleaning it.

The bathroom door will remain promptly closed and locked until further notice.

The only helping hand he will give with this is duct tape covering small gaps and corners and just so the living monstrosity could not sneak on them.

Then, it's all Scott's problem to deal with.

 

*

 

His phone is gone.

He's sure he had it with him the whole time, so unless the device decided to spurt legs and run away, he should have it. Even if he knows it’s not plausible, Theo looks down at the floor and does a quick sweep on the room he's in anyways, just in case the thing is running away freely. One can never know how things will turn out in Beacon Hills.

Huffing in frustration, he tries to remember when and where was the last time he saw it.

Maybe while duct taping the door. He checked to see if there's was any life signs of Scott. Then checked it again, to see the time. Then again, because he didn't really checked the first time, just lit up the screen. And then the runt came--

 _Brett_.

Without a second thought, he starts searching for the little runt. When eyes aren't enough, he tries to follow his scent - sandalwood, something spicy, earthy and Nolan.

It doesn't takes long to find them.

Hunched in a corner, behind one of the sofas, he can hear the distinct noise of his phone playing a game and hushed shrill voices at unison with it.

He can just hope they’re not messing with his score.

The moment Brett realized they got caught is pretty obvious. His little body tenses up, he turns his head closer to Nolan and hisses “ _he’s here_ ” sounding too ominous, almost scared like Theo was some sort of child-eater monster and not this role of nana chimera that he had going for the last couple of hours.

Not like he’s against it.

The monster thing, the nana thing is killing what was left of his self-esteem.

He can also see the exact second Nolan realizes who _he_ is implied to be, because his tiny hands suddenly cradle the phone against his tiny chest and he looks back at Theo like a deer caught in headlights.

The chimera sees the little body scramble upwards, gaze flickering at every possible place to cover the problematic object from sight while he is still fairly away from the problematic duo.

There's no point in hiding it.

He knows it, Brett knows it, Nolan probably does too.

But there's a wave of panic filling the air that just screams trouble and before he can stop it, Nolan is shoving the phone inside a transparent vase with flowers. See, he would be concerned by the obvious fact that the kid decided to use such a terrible hiding place if it wasn’t for a small detail.

It has water.

Nolan turns around almost immediately, face pale, mouth agape and deep blue eyes wide open, as if he can’t believe what he just did.

Theo can’t either.

“I panicked!”

It seems to be a default setting.

Because he’s panicking now too.

 

*

 

"I'm hungry"

Theo locks his gaze with the little runt, assessing the situation, before looking away back at Liam, who's making paper figures with Nolan. In the little pup’s hands is a too skillfully crafted airplane with a messy 'Theo' written on its side.

There's a fuzzy feeling in his stomach that he doesn't really know where it comes from and something that feels too much like shooting stars in the middle of his chest; beautiful, charged with hope and warmth. Equally brief too.

He shakes himself out of it, pining this all is just the lack of proper rest in his system.

It’s not, but he’s good at lying.

Or he was, at least.

Brett huffs and tugs at his pants with enough force to make the fabric groan, trying to catch his attention back. The chimera slaps the hand away, looking back once again at the bad-mannered pup.

"I said I'm hungry"

"Seems like it's not really my problem," Theo grins down at him, and then looks back up at the little beta again, who's now trying to help Nolan write on his paper boat, "Good luck with that"

The runt mumbles something he doesn't quite get but since he doesn't care about it either, he lets it slip.

Eyes still fixed in both boys, 'Theo' plane and 'Nett' boat firms on their owners little hands and skimming through the air at Corey and Mason's heads when a clashing sound breaks the dim spell of peace.

His brain finally catching up with the fact that he just let Brett, from all the puppies, walk alone into the kitchen.

He's sure not even hunters made him run so fast in his life.

 

*

 

Theo wonders if this is how that guy in the Lord of the Rings felt when he had to take care of four hobbits demanding for a second breakfast.

A bit desperate, another bit bewildered and a whole lot resentful.

It's not exactly the same, he knows. There's five petit creatures to take care of but two of them were pretty much attached by the hand, so he counts them as one. There’s also the thing where the baby betas are way more vicious and dangerous than those four characters would ever dream to be. And they're not going to a land of perdicion on a quest either, even if the McCall's house is starting to feel that way.

He guesses that the only thing they have in common is the dire need of keeping everyone pretty much alive, even if he's not sure exactly why he's the one with that responsibility to begin with.

The microwave dings taking him out of his surly thoughts and this time when he takes the pizza rolls out of the cooking device, he knows what to expect once he turns around and places the food in the kitchen table.

He knows.

But still gets shocked.

It's impossible to tear his gaze away from the tiny mouths equipped with twenty sharp teeth biting harshly into the pizza rolls, grunting and squealing at the heat against their tongues.

There's salsa everywhere; the table, their hands, their faces.

The darkest corners of his mind, even.

He grimaces and shifts his weight from one foot to the other, trying to tamper down the uneasiness that overcomes him. It feels as if they were eviscerating something and he tries really hard to not imagine it's him.

At this point, he's sure that the whole picture will be part of a new set of nightmares where instead of Tara, he will have five little demons with salsa covered faces coming to eat him alive or take his sanity away. Not that there's much left anyways.

Who would have known that this would be his breaking point.

Five toddlers and a plate of pizza rolls.

 

*

 

The clean up feels like covering up the remains of a terrible murder scene.

The difference is the scent of salsa clogging his nostrils and making him gag from time to time.

And the fact that blood is way more difficult to clean that tomato sauce.

 

*

 

A chorus of ear splitting yawns echoes through the room but the only thing Theo hears is angels singing.

“Nap time!,” he exclaims happily, watching tiny little feets drag themselves towards the center of the McCall’s living room and stop right in front of him. There’s a pile of blankets and cushions in the corner of the room and he mentally thanks the universe for such a thing.

Five heavy-lidded pair of eyes up on him, waiting, and he wonders how is it possible that they expect instructions with something so basic when the rest of the time it’s like if he wasn’t even in the room.

Sighing, he gives each little monster a blanket and a cushion, before shooing them away. “Humans and Corey, on the couch,” he prompts them in the corresponding direction with a gentle push on their backs, “The pups, on the floor.”

“No”

“Wanna repeat that?,” Theo turns around from where he was handing Liam the last blanket to see Brett scowling up at him.

“No!,” the runt grips Nolan’s shirt in a tiny fist and pulls the little hunter, who squeaks in surprise, towards him, “I want to be with him!”

Theo looks baffled at the complaining pup for a bit too long and then at Nolan, who looks back at him with wide eyes and a blooming flush under the many freckles decorating his face.

He feels tempted to say _no_ , just to be a little shit and get payback.

But then Brett’s grip on the fabric eases and the piercing blue eyes start to get glossy under his frown, in a clear warning of a fit coming. Theo’s sure that the only thing stopping it is the way Nolan’s shaky hand takes Brett’s without a second thought.

The chimera shrugs, “Okay”

Brett blinks at him surprised, completely in silence and not moving at all. Theo arches his brows in amusement, trying to prompt a reaction out of the little monster. It’s a strange staring contest going between them both, Brett waiting for the other shoe to drop and Theo taking far too much pleasure into watching the pup trying to find the inexistent trap.

It’s the little hunter who breaks it, dragging the little wolf to away and settling everything with clipped precision in the corner they’ll share.

Theo snorts, shaking his head and returning his attention to the rest of the kids.

He’s going to enjoy this so much when they get back to normal.

 

*

 

In a blink of an eye or maybe two, he found himself with a lapful of Liam sprawled over him and snoring softly against his thigh when the pup should be sleeping comfortably in his blanket nest in the floor.

He’s not even sure when the little ankle biter climbed him or how was it possible that he didn’t notice until the soft raspy sound catches his attention.

Or even why he doesn’t really care at all.

Between prayers to not get drooled over and inconspicuous fond looks that he will forever deny, he ends up picking up the blanket at his feet with as little movement as possible and draping it over Liam’s petit frame.

After that, is as if the puppy pack smelled weakness and decided to orbitate towards him.

Corey and Mason, from sleeping in the other corner of the couch tangled between one another, between soft kicks and sleep writhing, ended up worming they way to Theo’s side. The little chimera with his little head leaned over his former alpha’s waist in a really awkward angle that Theo couldn’t care less, half sitting and breathing softly through his open mouth while Mason draped over him like a blanket, sort of like Liam but less chaotic, and mumbled sleepily about talking trees and _why is Scott fighting an iguana?_

Even Brett and Nolan, from their secluded corner in the living room’s floor, ended up at his feet.

The little runt promptly twined between his ankles in a way that shouldn’t at all be comfortable, from time to time twitching and making Theo fear for a swipe of claws or for a deliberate bite. The little hunter curling on the floor, head over his feet, with a hand fisted on Brett’s shirt and outright sucking his thumb with no shame whatsoever.

There’s something squirming inside of him and he’s really hoping that’s just an overwhelming need to puke and not the dreaded butterflies again, because he still has to come up with a plan on how to kill them.

He’s also assaulted by the wild idea that if his phone still worked, he would take a picture. Or two. Maybe a couple of hundreds.

For prime blackmail material, obviously.

One of his hands brushes unashamedly between Liam’s hair and he’s hit with a warmth sensation spreading from the middle of his chest to the rest of his body like roots taking place. The little beta’s hair is soft and delicate under his touch and he wonders if it’s like that all the time, if Liam would let him touch it without any de-aging spell in between.

He’s not so keen on the fact that this is way too adorable

He’s sure he will get diabetes, even with his supernatural healing.

Before he has a moment to plan how to twist this into something that would be more fitting into his devoid of emotion comfort zone, the little runt huffs and Theo quickly pushes his  possibly endangered ankle away, barely moving Liam.

That doesn’t stop the little beta from frowning in his sleep, squirm, twist and finally slap down harshly.

Into Theo’s groin.

Good thing he can always count with Liam to put an end to sweetness.

 

*

 

He wakes up with a startled yelp, a series of very diverse screams and a slap across the face followed by an elbow in his groin.

Same way he would have if they were still all kids and not teenagers again.

Good to know things didn’t change that much.

 

*

 

At the end of the day, he ends up with a bunch of embarrassed half-naked teenagers, an ugly marker tattoo of a crowned skull, a figurative pat in the back for all his troubles and a crooked smile that felt too much like a failed job interview.

Theo’s not even sure why he expected any different.

Walking quickly towards his truck, parked a couple of houses over, he’s thinking about either drive away from Beacon Hills as quick as possible or stick with his plan of throwing his phone deep into the woods to not be tracked ever again, that if he gets a new phone, when a very known voice stops him.

“Theo! Wait!”

He turns around to see Liam, stretching the front of his shirt as far down as it can go in tight fists to cover his indecencies, gingerly following him. Swallowing down the laugh that threatens to break out of him at how disgustingly similar and terribly different this whole scene is from a couple of hours before, he stops walking and waits for the beta to catch up with him.

“Asshole,” the shorter boy hisses once he catches up, “You could have come closer, I’m naked”

“Not my problem,” he replies easily, “What do you want, Dunbar?”

“I-- Uh, I wanted to thank you for--,” he seems about to try and gesture with his hands, but abruptly stops himself before it, “Y’know, taking care of m-- _OF US_ ! _US!_ ”

He stays there, hovering in front of Theo for a moment with a scowl that hadn’t the beta just out loud thanked him, he would have thought he was in mortal danger.

This time he snorts, unashamedly, and smirks at the shorter boy. “Smooth, Dunbar”

“Yeah, well.” he shrugs, shifting his weight from one foot to the other for a moment before snapping his head up in determination and pushing forward. His mouth lands at the corner of Theo’s with too much force and little finesse, leaving as soon as it got there. “That.” He clears his throat, a splotchy blush spreading over his whole face, making his baby blue eyes shine bright. “Thanks”.

Before Theo can even attempt to get out of his dazed stage, Liam is sprinting his way back into the McCall house, still walking in his tip toes and trying but completely failing to cover more of his shames than he actually managed to.

Not that Theo minds.

Smiling softly, he stands there, watching for a while before turning away and stalk back into his truck.

Maybe he will stick around a bit more.

And keep his next phone close, just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> Art by the amazingly talented **wolfboybernie**
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to **Captainmintyfresh** for letting me add an Airplanes cameo.


End file.
